I walk along this long life,

and sometimes I look back my steps,

I can still feel the toughness that I had crossed over.

But I think that what I had done is actually easy,

I could done it all because

I never surrender myself.

Humpty-Dumpty whispered,

1.11pm

Sunday, 21 May 2006.

An unsure obstacle is like the cultured wine

It triggers my nerves,and free from sadness.

I had lost my direction, the wine saved me.

A glass of wine washed out my mind.

It makes me forget about the funky lifes.

Nothing is with me,

But my own laughter and glasses of wine.

Humpty-Dumpty talked,

12.56pm

21 may 2006, Sunday.

Hey winds,

Let’s dance on me;

Hey rains,

Let’s shower on me;

Hey sun,

Let’s shine on me;

Hey boats,

Let’s sink again and again;

Hey seas,

Let’s come to flood on me;

Let’s come to vanish me…

I’m wondering, what u can do on me?

…since U ARE NOTHING TO ME =)

Humpty-Dumpty talked,

12.29am

Sunday, 21 May 2006.

It’s been a long distance of time i didnt update my blogs here…Yea, damn long.

So, How ya my friendS? I hope everyone fine fine la..

I’m currenly busying with my dad business. But dont think that i m rich, i got no paid for that all. What can i do? they’re my parent right >.<

To say that i’m busy, not at all. Coz i still got time to online sometimes, i still got time to watch tv, i still can just sitting on the sofa dreaming about my dreams…

Butto say i m a free person, that’s not true. not true! Coz i havent finish those job that i suppose to finish… I should follow my dad in every single steps to learn every minor secret about his secret technology, but i didnt do that, i think i m escaping…maybe.

I m not free, coz i havent reply my friend’s sms…lazy maybe. I should faster clean up my pc files and save those important one in thumbdrive,and let shao yee burns it into CD, but i haven do that yet. I suppose to format my pc but i dont know i cant take the first move……….

I m not that really free, coz i haven learn how to drive on road properly…only can drive in Taman, thats bore like hell..

I m not getting free, coz i still haven plan and collect the stock which already order by customers. but why i m still sitting…doing nothing..

I m not free coz i haven make decision on my study,future,parent and family plus,my dreams….

I m not free, coz i suppose to earn as much as i can now…

But, my time seems running away from me very fast. A day has gone and another day comes, but still, i do not much things in a day. I keep telling.. i m busy…

HOW BUSY I AM?

PS: My BRAIN is working non stop but not my physical, thats why i m BUSY without doing anything much.

HEADACHE, Signing-off…. Bye!

Humpty-DUmpty talked on 2.01pm 20 May 2006.

Already 4 nights didnt play sms leh…aiyo… Still got many days to go leh… aiyo…

Beside ‘aiyo’… i cant do anything leh… aiyo…. >.<

Cousin going to study in college. Staying in .. and so much freedom over there. Study herself, earn by herself. Well, when will the chance come to me? Pain, when i know these.

Should i say that i m over-request from myself, or i m just the same as other teenage? Who can tell me?

I wanna do lot of things now, right this moment… i really wanna do lot of things… but i cant, coz my parent and family stop me from doing that. I never blame them coz they are really innocent. But,Why…

Why must i born in this family? or..why the God let me think differently and ambitously than others?

People like me shouldnt born in this kind of family…isnt it?! Lot of my missions, my dreams, my ambitions… but as the time passing by, i cant do anything. I missed out so many things… so many dreams. Sometimes, i really wanna cry.. i wanna  cry… Why…Why everything goes like this?

Am i having a perfect family ? am i? i must appreciate what i have and appreciate my parent and appreciate my life, appreciate what the god has given me??? am i suppose to suffer from all these? issit there are others who more suffer, suffering than me? Who..? What else is that so important other than FREEDOM? without freedom…am i going to be a happy girl? Well.. i m getting crazy… please help me.

I want to drive, i want to study, i want to leave my family WITHOUT hurting them, i wanna help my dad but i wanna chase my dream….too. how? How am i going to do that… how!!!!!? Please, i m having Insomnia…all the night. PLease!  give me another choice, please… :’(

My heart is screaming!

My Soul is crying!

I guess I’m dying!

I guess I never have a dream…

By,

LiYING

2.39pm(03 May)2006